Pokemon Parody!
by seaapple
Summary: Where everyone is smart except Ash! Based off the comic I'm writing! There will be special appearances in later chapters of: Sailor Moon, people from the Twilight Saga, Batman, the Teen Titans, Emmazippy577, Voldemort and Harry Potter!
1. You Know It Lasts Foreva!

**The Longest Comic In The World... What So Ever You Say About It.**

**(You Know It Lasts Foreva!)**

**(P.S. It's a Parody! Where everyone is smart except Ash.)**

_Our story begins with our heroes in prison... ha ha... actually it begins with a flashback... then the story really begins in prison... ha._

**Flashback: **

"I hate you, Team Rocket!" Ash screamed.

"You can't say that!" Team Rocket replied throwing their arms up in disgust.

"Yeah! We want dos Twirps arrested!" Meowth, the talking Pokemon said.

Then a Rocket Grunt came and scooped up Ash, Misty, Brock and all their Pokemon in a giant sack, "I love arrestin' stuff!" He said.

**Present Day:**

"Okay, guys, I have a plan." Ash said quietly.

"Oh brother..." Misty replied.

Ash ignored her comment and continued, "Okay, Misty, don't you have a nail file in your pocket? And Brock, don't you have a mini hammer for making rock Pokemon look cool in your pocket?"

"Yes...?" They both said.

They handed the file and the hammer over to Ash, who walked over to the cell door.

"Okay, now I'm going to break through!" He said.

Ash clinked the hammer on the cell bars and paused for a few seconds, "AAAAHHHHH! MY WRIST! OOWWWWW!"

"What?" Misty said, "You just clinked the hammer to the bar! You're not injured, ya big baby!"

Ash, then, tried again with the file and again paused for a few seconds, "AHHHHH! MY OTHER WRIST! OOOWWWWWW!" Ash screamed.

"What?" Brock said, "You didn't even use that hand! How could you have- Oh never mind..."

"Okay guys! Let's try something else! How about... IMPROV!" Ash told the others.

"Hmm... okay, I'm good at acting so I'll give it a shot..." Misty said.

"Oh, alright..." Brock said.

**A FEW MOMENTS LATER...**

The air was scented with smoke and something burning. You could hear the shouts of Misty and Brock from down the hall.

"AAAHHHH! Guard, help! My friend just spontaneously combusted! HELP!" Brock shouted at the nearby guard.

"What, there's no such- WHAT?" The guard screamed as he saw Ash on fire running around in circles and Misty's attempts to blow out fire.

The guard threw his hands up in surprise, dropping his keys on accident.

"Ha ha ha ha ha!" Brock laughed as he grabbed the keys off the floor. The guard ran away to get help.

The fire on Ash suddenly stopped after the guard left. "Phew! Spontaneously combusting is hard work!" Ash said through gasps for breath.

"Uhhh... Anyway, let's get outta here!" Brock said.

"CLICK" Brock turned the key in lock.

FREEDOM!

Just then a whole bunch of Voltorbs and Electrodes appeared in the doorway.

!

Then, the whole Team Rocket lab exploded. Ha ha. Ha.

**To be continued. Hope you guys liked it! You may be asking, "Where's Pikachu?" You will find the answer to that later! ha ha ha! **

**P.S. There will be a bit of Twilight parody later on in, like, chapter 30 or something! Leave reviews please! Hee hee hee!**

**~seaapple yee haw!**


	2. Lugia VS Giovanni

**Chapter 2**

"Grrrr! Will you please go see what that noise was? I'm _trying _to catch a Lugia!" Giovanni yelled at his Rocket Grunt.

"Yes Sir, Right away Sir!"

"Sheesh! Anyways…" Giovannni said to himself as he turned back to the giant Lugia, Pokeball in hand.

He threw the ball and it engulfed the Lugia.

BLOOP BLOOP BLOOP

Then the Lugia popped out of the Pokeball very angrily.

"I knew I should have used an Ultra Ball…" Those were Giovanni's last words before he was eaten by the Lugia.

"Om nom nom nom nom nom"

Just then, Ash, Misty and Brock appeared at Lugia's huge feet.

"Hey! Down here, Lugia!" Ash called.

Lugia bent down to the kids.

"Hey Lugia, remember me?" Ash asked kindly.

"No. I have the memory span of a goldfish." He replied.

". . . .Can ya just give us a ride?" Ash finally asked, very unamused.

"Sigh… fine…"

Then they all climbed on Lugia's back.

AFTER A FEW HOURS OF FLYING…

"Ah, finally, home sweet home!" Lugia said as he headed straight to the ocean.

"WAIT! Lugia! We're mammals! We can't breathe underwater like you!" The three screamed.

Too late… he already plunged into the ocean. And then a little Dratini saw them and said, "OMG! I must help them!"

It used Whirlpool and swept them out of the ocean and onto a desert island.

THREE YEARS OF WAITING ON A DESERT ISLAND…

A random Fearow just happened to be flying overhead. And then it swooped down and scooped up Ash while saying, "Yum, delicious people!"

Misty and Brock just laughed as he was carried away to his death. Then the same Dratini came back, but it evolved into a Dragonair, so the same Dragonair came back and said (once again), "I must help him!"

Ash was already being chewed up by the Fearow, but Dragonair came to the rescue by using Water Gun on the Fearow. The blow made Fearow choke and spit Ash out. Dragonair caught Ash on its back though, so it was okay.

Oh! But then, Dragonair evolved into Dragonite and decided to finish the job.

He flew up to the Fearow and… wait for it… gave him a big hug! Naw, just joking! He actually Hyper Beamed him right in the face!

**To Be Continued…**

**Once again, Pikachu is not in this chapter, but you know… these things take time… READ AND REVIEW! (please!)**


	3. Ponyta Procedure

Chapter 3

After Dragonite's furious Hyper Beam, he went down to help the chewed up Ash.

DRAGONITE used HELPING HAND.

Once Ash was revived, he thanked Dragonite. Then Dragonite flew away for no apparent reason…

Ash walked back to where Brock and Misty were.

"Hey Ash! While you were gone, we found some wild Ponyta to ride on, you know, so we can get outta here!" Brock said, holding the reins to some Ponytas.

"Coolio!" Ash replied.

When Ash received his Ponyta, he stared at with disgust. Its head and neck were bigger than its body, which was shorter than its legs.

"Ew, why's mine gotta be ugly?" Ash whined.

In the background, Misty said, "Because you are."

"Ash! You made it cry! It's tears will put out it's flames!" Brock screamed.

"So?" Ash said, holding the reins of the hideous weeping Ponyta.

"IT WILL DIE!" Brock screamed louder.

"Oh…" Ash said, holding the reins of the hideous dead Ponyta.

"I didn't mean to!" Ash said.

"ASH!" Misty and Brock screamed.

Brock face-palmed himself, "We'll just have to find a solution…"

**A FEW MINUTES LATER…**

Misty was leading on her Ponyta, Brock behind on his Ponyta, who was dragging a makeshift wagon which was carrying Ash.

"Weeeell… That's what I get…" Ash said.

A little later, Ash said, "Brock! I gotta potty!"

"OH FINE! Go over there!" Brock was seething with rage at this point.

Ash wandered into some woods.

"Hmm… where's a good spot…?" Ash said to himself. "Here's a good spot!"

Ash wandered right up to a wild Ursering, thinking it was a good spot to pee…

"Oh! Hi there! Do you mind turning around while I go potty? Please."

"GRRR!" Ursering growled. Then it gobbled up Ash.

CHEW CHEW CHEW

Ash tickled the Ursering's tongue.

"HA HA AHAHAHA A AHH!" It laughed as it spat Ash out.

"Huh. I've really discovered a lesson in all this: don't stand in front of wild Pokemon… because they WILL eat you…" Ash said aloud.

BOOM BOOM BOOM

"Huh? What's that?"

A wild GROUDON appeared.

"A Groudon?! Really?! Is that even necessary?! I didn't even get to pee yet!"

**To Be Continued…**

**Once again, Pikachu is not in this chapter, but you know… these things take time… READ AND REVIEW! (please!)**


	4. Om Nom Nom, Ash Flavored

**Chapter 4**

The Groudon picked Ash up and ate him.

Glurglelllel gurrrlel...

"BURRRPPP!" The Groudon burped Ash out of his stomach in a fiery explosion, and then left.

Ash got up from the ground, burnt, and yelled to the sky, "Why do I taste good to all Pokemon?!"

Ash then proceeded to walk back to the camp, well, the place where the Ponytas pretty much freaked out and ran away.

"Hi guys..." Ash sighed.

Misty replied with an, "Um... hi?" And Brock replied, "PWA AHAHAH!".

"Misty," Ash said.

"What?"

"Why have four Pokemon tried to eat me today?" Ash asked.

"Ugh... You put on steak sauce for cologne today, stupid." She replied.

"Weeelllll! That explains a lot." Ash said as realization hit him in the face.

**FLASHBACK**

Ash went shopping at the store!

"Hm, I need me some new scents!" He said to himself, causing a random lady to stare at him.

He entered the first perfume aisle he saw, which happened to be The Ladies' Perfume Aisle.

"Oh gross! These are disgusting!" He exclaimed after smelling Vanilla, Lavender, and Cinnamon.

He then proceeded to the next aisle, which was Sauces...

"Oooh! BBQ... I bet that smells good! Too bad they don't have a test bottle... Oh well!"

After paying for his "cologne", he dumped it all over his body.

"Ew!" Misty said, after Ash entered the room.

"Did you just return from going into a meat shop, rolling around in roadkill, jumping in a pile of old meat and then running through a field of wild radioactive peppers?" Brock asked, holding his nose.

**END OF FLASHBACK**

"OOOOOOOOOOHHHH!" Ash said aloud.

"Yeah." And Misty walked away.

"Yeah, I should wash this BBQ off... Hey guys, I'm gonna take a shower now, BRB!" And Ash walked off into the woods somewhere.

"He does know we're in the woods and there's no shower... right...?" Misty asked Brock.

"Eh, probably not."

**ONE HOUR LATER**

"Now I'm all clean!" Ash said, returning in a random clean robe, with a towel wrapped around his head, drying his hair.

"Where did you take a show-" Misty began.

"Is that a towel on your head!? HAHA!" Brock laughed.

"Yes Brock, and it's very efficient!" Ash replied snobbishly.

"_I wonder what Ash's hair looks like under his hat. I've never seen it before..." _Misty thought.

"Ooh! My hair's dry!" Ash said, snatching the towel off his head.

Out of the towel poured tons and tons of luscious, silky black locks. They kept growing and growing and finally stopped, curling around the surrounding area.

"WHAT?!" Misty shrieked.

"Whoops! Forgot my hat!" Ash said, flipping his hat on. Suddenly, all the hair vanished. Apparently... It's rumoured that it still lives under the dark crevices of Ash Ketchum's Kanto League hat... This is the part where you either say, "Ooh! Suspenseful and mysterious..." or, "What the heck!? You can't give hair a scary connotation!".

"Ah, that's better!" Ash said, giving his hat a final adjustment.

"L.O.L." Brock yelled at Misty.

"Right..." Misty carried on anyway, "Well guys, we need to pack up and move on..."

"Alright." Brock said.

"'Kay 'kay!" Ash said like a little girl.

"Oh yeah," Brock turned to Ash, "I forgot to ask, where's Pikachu?"

"Um um um um um um..." Ash stuttered worriedly.

**AFTER WALKING 0.9 MILES...**

"PIKACHU! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Everyone yelled.

"Pikachu, would you come out for ONE Scooby Snack?" Brock asked to the forest they were walking in.

"Wrong cartoon, stupid!" Misty said to Brock, smacking Brock's shoulder.

"OW! Would you come out for two...?"

"PIKA!"

"PIKA!"

"PIKACHU?"

"PII PIKACHU?!"

"PIKA!?"

"PIKA PII!"

"PIKACHU!"

"PIKA PIKA-CHU!"

"PII?"

"KA-CHU?"

"PII PII!"

Yeah, we've got ourselves quite a bit of Pikachus here.

"Am I hallucinating?!"

**review please! :3**

**~seaapple**


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